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Tanka

The Japanese tanka is a short lyric, consisting of five parts with 5, 7, 5, 7 and 7 syllables in a row, thus producing a special rhythm. Traditionally, tanka are written in Japanese in one single, unbroken line.

Western tanka also have this 5-7-5-7-7-syllable form, but divided over five lines. This raises difficulties in translating tanka from Japanese into English. Besides, Japanese words consist of moras (usually one consonant + vowel) and usually have more syllables than words in Western languages. For example: “my dream” (2 syllables) is “watashi no yume” (6 syllables) in modern Japanese, and “wa ga yume” (4 syllables) in classic Japanese.  In short, 31 syllables in Japanese will contain fewer words than 31 syllables in English. The Japanese 5-7-5-7-7-standard will be around 3-5-3-5-5 in English. Translators sometimes add words in order to make the number of syllables right, which – unfortunately - often kills the charm and simplicity of the original.

Amy V. Heinrich translated the tanka of Mokichi Saito. Her view on translating tanka is most valuable. She wrote:
’There are two essential points to consider in translating tanka into English.  The first is that the primary goal of the translator is to make a poem in English – one that is compelling enough to stand on its own.  This is, of course, an ideal none of us reach all the time. The second is that to communicate what is particular to the tanka form one must create a poem in English that retains the feeling of distillation that is in the best tanka – the sense that only what is essential to communicating an experience is included: the reader is required to provide the rest. Therefore, I think it is important not to expand words of the translation to include what the reader understands of the poet’s meaning, but instead to limit oneself to the actual constructions the poet used. …..’ (THE TANKA JOURNAL 1999 no.14, Nihon Kajin Club)
I decided to translate my own tanka into English, completely free of syllable counting, the five-line rule or a particular word order. My translations are not meant to be literal. I have tried to give my English translations the same ‘heartbeat’ and rhythm of my original, Japanese tanka: a privilege only the author can have.

人は皆己を映す鏡なり皆去りゆくよと笑みし女はも
Hito wa mina/onore o utsusu/ kagami nari/mina sariyukuyo to/emishi hito wamo

Foto

Actors we all are, she said
mirrors to reflect
each other
We all leave the stage, she said 
and left a smile in mine



帳下ろし心に灯す雪明かり雪の原野に誰が足跡ぞ
Tobari oroshi/ kokoro ni tomosu/ yuki-akari/ yuki no genya ni/ da ga ashiato zo

Foto

I close the blinds
light the snow-light
within me
Whose footprints are these
in my wilderness?



我が敵は砂漠の地平に現わるる絶望という蜃気楼なり
Waga teki wa/ sabaku no chihei ni/ arawaruru/ zetsuboo to iu/ shinkiroo nari
Foto

Emerging above
the horizon of a desert
my enemy –
a mirage
called despair


国を出でし時止まってしまった我が時計巻いても巻いても二十二歳
Kuni o ideshi toki/ tomatte shimatta/ waga tokei/ maitemo maitemo/ nijuuni-sai

Foto

Leaving my country
my clock stopped
I wind it and rewind it
It still stays
at age twenty two


さんさんとそそぐ朝日の文机に遺す未完の歌ぞ淋しき
Sansan to/ sosogu asahi no/fuzukue ni/ nokosu mikan no/ uta zo samishiki

Foto

How lonely I would be
left behind on my desk
an unfinished poem
in the glorious morning sun


我老いて開ける格子戸ただいまと呼べど叫べど答えなき夢
Ware oite/ akeru koushido/ tadaima to/ yobedo sakebedo/ kotae naki yume

Foto

Old and gray
I slide the door open
and shout : I’m home!
There is never
an answer in my dream

All poetry and photos copyright © Fuyuko Tomita all right reserved